Tag: coaching
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The Banana Problem
Let’s do a quick exercise. I’ll say a word, and I want you to notice the first thing that comes to mind. Ready?… Banana. What did you think of? When I do this exercise in workshops, the answers are all over the place. Banana bread! Monkey! Potassium! And there is always one person who says…
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Why Good Conversations Go Sideways
Have you ever walked into a conversation with the best intentions, and it still went completely sideways? Maybe it was a one-on-one with a direct report. Maybe it was a conversation with your spouse. Maybe it was your child. You started calm. You wanted to help. Then they said something that rubbed you the wrong…
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Running Toward the Burning Building
You are the one people bring their problems to. Someone walks in stuck, and before they have even finished the sentence, you can see the way out. You feel that familiar pull. Jump in. Fix it. Be the one who makes it better. That pull has a name. Save-the-day energy. It is the instinct to…
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The Same Stories Show Up Everywhere
After nearly two decades of working with high-achieving people from all walks of life, I’ve learned that the same stories show up everywhere. The perfectionism that delays a project also slows progress on a passion. The fear of judgment that keeps someone quiet in meetings also keeps them from expressing their creativity. The inner voice…
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The Reason You’re Still Solving Everyone’s Problems
I work with leaders every day who are frustrated because they keep asking or telling members of their team to do the same things over and over, and they’re not seeing any substantive change. They’re exhausted from being the ones who have to solve everyone’s problems all the time, only to have the same people…
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Is This Person Coachable Right Now?
“This person is amazing, BUT…” I call this the big “BUT.” It comes up so often in conversations with leaders that I could finish the sentence for them. The BUT is a list of behaviors they want changed in someone on their team. The ones I hear most often: micromanaging, talking over people in meetings,…
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The Conversation You’re Having With Yourself
I wrote Make Them Think to help people show up better in the conversations they have with others. What I didn’t anticipate was how many readers would tell me it changed the conversation they’re having with themselves. In her Amazon review, a reader named Erin wrote: “I picked up Make Them Think to become a…
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The Patience Game
I wrote Make Them Think for leaders of all kinds whose job, by trade or by nature, is to help people learn, grow and change their lives for the better. What a lot of people don’t know about the book is that it was born out of a corporate training I used to give for…
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The Conversation Move that Gets People Unstuck Fast
A client once stopped me mid-session and asked: “What are you doing?” He’d noticed a pattern. Every time he brought me a problem, I wasn’t asking him to explain it further. I was asking him something else entirely. I told him: “Every time you talk in problem terms, I ask about the solution.” He looked…
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The 90/10 Rule: What great coaching actually sounds like
A few weeks ago I received this review from Rachel M., a Lead Counsel who read Make Them Think: “I’ve always been most impressed by leaders who ask thoughtful, well-timed questions that seem to change the direction of a project. This book helped me understand why those questions work and how to start using them…
