What Does It Actually Mean to “Make Them Think”?

One of the most common questions I hear from managers is: “How do I get my team to think for themselves?”

Maybe it’s an employee who brings you every problem without first thinking through possible solutions. Maybe you’ve had the same conversation with the same person three times. You’ve explained exactly what needs to change. They nodded. They agreed. And then…nothing changed.

Our instinct is to explain it better. Give clearer feedback. Offer another example. Be more direct.

Sometimes that works.

But often it doesn’t.

Because telling someone what to think isn’t the same as helping them think differently.

That distinction sits at the heart of my book, Make Them Think. But what does it actually mean to “make someone think”?

Most of us assume it means helping someone come up with a better idea or learn something new. That’s certainly part of it. But I don’t think it’s the whole story.

The brain has two very different ways of thinking. Psychologist Daniel Kahneman described them as “fast” and “slow” thinking. In my work, I use the terms intentional and instinctive because I think they better capture how these systems show up in everyday conversations.

Our intentional thinking helps us analyze, reason, imagine possibilities, and make decisions. It’s the part of us that’s engaged when we reflect on feedback, solve a new problem, or consider a different perspective.

Our instinctive thinking operates automatically. It shapes what we notice, how we interpret situations, and how we react before we’ve consciously thought about it. It draws on patterns built through years of experience, helping us move through the world efficiently without having to analyze every decision from scratch.

Both systems are essential.

The challenge is that most coaching, leadership, and feedback conversations are designed almost entirely around the intentional system. We assume that if someone understands something intellectually, they’ll naturally begin acting differently.

But we’ve all experienced the gap between knowing and doing. We know we should delegate more. We know we should stay calm under pressure. We know we shouldn’t jump in and solve every problem for our team.

Yet under stress, many of us revert to old habits. It’s not because we forgot what we learned. It’s because our instinctive system is still running the old pattern.

That’s why lasting change requires more than a new thought. It requires engaging both systems.

Great coaching certainly helps people generate new insights and ideas. But it also does something else.

It helps people notice the assumptions they’re making. Become aware of automatic reactions. Listen to what their body is telling them. Practice new ways of responding until those responses begin to feel natural.

Over time, understanding becomes something more than knowledge. It becomes a new way of responding.

To me, that’s what it really means to make someone think. Not simply to teach them something new. Not simply to explain something until they agree with you. But rather to engage both the intentional and instinctive systems so that new understanding gradually becomes a new way of responding.

Try This This Week

The next time you’re tempted to explain something for the third time, pause and ask yourself:

Am I trying to change what this person thinks… or how they think?

Instead of offering another explanation, ask a question that invites reflection. Help them notice a pattern. Explore an assumption. Reflect back something you’ve observed.

Real change rarely comes from hearing the right answer. More often, it begins when people discover something for themselves.

I explore this in further detail in my book, Make Them Think, available on Amazon, Bookshop.org, and on your favorite audiobook platform.